My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
