Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
