dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
