did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
