I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
