i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
