So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
