I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
