Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
