Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I think i got beer on your cat.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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