So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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