The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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