ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
