Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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