Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
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