There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think a kid would responsible me up
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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