If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
