But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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