I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
