I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Hippo gnu deer
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
