whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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