What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
