Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
