Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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