Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
