Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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