Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
