He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
