Whod you bang
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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