READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
