Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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