i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
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