Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
