Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
