he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
