I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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