No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
