He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
