Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
