If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
