p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
