Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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