Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
