am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
