It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
