Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
This is the prime rib incident all over again
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
