We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
