pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
