sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
