Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
